yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
