please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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