This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
