Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
