Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
