This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
