it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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