i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My pussy is not your playground.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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