Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
