Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
