That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
