I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
