Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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