He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
