Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize