My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
