i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
