Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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