I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We need to rekindle our bromance
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
