no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
