the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
