why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
