are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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