I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
