Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize