doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
