I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize