My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
