Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize