Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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