wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
