Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize