listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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