we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
