i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
