dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
