Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
