so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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