You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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