I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
