when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
All I want is dick and wine.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
