i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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