And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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