we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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