Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
