hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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