I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
