Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
