Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A bitchslap is in order.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize