I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
