I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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