Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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