Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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