I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
