This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
