I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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