Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
