Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Randomize
