Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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