you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
