God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
