you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Someone signed my nipple.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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