Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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