I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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