I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize