Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
