my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
