roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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