Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Randomize
