It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
