therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
