And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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