I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
