He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize