I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
