Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
