They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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