Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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