Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
