Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i love accidental penises.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I intend to get homeless drunk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
