final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
