so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
