I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
