and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just cropdusted the office
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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