this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
