that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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