I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
