So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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