She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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