the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
