I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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